Why Aethos CEO Lily Wecker Thinks Loneliness Is Reshaping Travel

Hertelier Leadership Conversations: a recurring series of candid conversations with women leading at the highest levels of hospitality, unpacking ambition, responsibility, impact, and what it really takes to hold all three at once.

Lily Wecker doesn’t fit the traditional mold of what a CEO is supposed to sound or look like, and at 35, she’s already redefining it.

Thoughtful, candid, and quietly ambitious, Lily leads Aethos, one of Europe’s fastest-growing lifestyle hospitality brands, with a perspective shaped by consulting, private equity, and global hotel operations. What stands out most is not just her résumé, she holds an MBA from Harvard, but the way she talks about leadership, executive presence, and the growing need for hospitality to feel more human at a time when connection feels increasingly rare.

We chatted just before the holidays last year, and the conversation quickly moved beyond titles and growth plans. Instead, Lily reflected on leadership archetypes, modern loneliness, and why she believes the real luxury today is not marble or square footage, but time.

You’ve had a fascinating portfolio career across consulting, private equity, and hotel operations. What first drew you to hospitality, and how did you get your start?

As a management consultant who is passionate about real estate, I naturally gravitate toward hospitality because it combines my strength working in complex operational environment with my love for brick and mortar!

I was very conscious about building a T-shaped career, starting broad across the consumer-facing service industry and then doubling down once I understood myself better. I made the decision to focus on hospitality during COVID, when there was market dislocation, low interest rates, and dry powder (this is a PE term for money available to invest). I started building really strong relationships with management teams, and that’s when hospitality truly clicked for me.

What was your very first job, and what did it teach you about people and work?

My first meaningful professional experience was in business development at Christie’s in New York. I was studying the contemporary art market and writing a thesis on the appreciation of value in 20th-century decorative art, so I thought it would be a great opportunity to see these pieces in person.

What I learned very quickly is that many of these transactions are not driven by the objects themselves, but by the relationships between the seller, the dealer, and the buyer. While my day-to-day role ranged from cataloguing inventory to buying cakes for clients, I was able to observe many transactions. I’m a very matter-of-fact person, but that experience taught me early on that people make decisions based on feelings above facts.

You’ve lived and worked across New York, London, and Europe. How has that shaped your leadership style?

This is really interesting. In the US, the feedback I heard most frequently was that I needed more presence. My coach and mentors taught me to speak up more, lower my pitch, and expand my physical space. I literally practiced waving my arms more when I spoke.

When I moved to London and worked more across Europe, the feedback flipped. I started receiving feedback that I was too aggressive, too pushy, or too loud. That contrast has been really helpful. It’s given me more awareness of cultural context and reminded me to ask more questions rather than assume. That feels especially important in a world where so many conflicts come from misunderstanding or miscommunication.

You’ve talked about the idea that there isn’t just one way for women to lead. How do you think that’s changing?

I think we’re finally starting to see more leadership archetypes, and that really matters. When I was younger, the female leadership ideals I was presented with often fit a very specific model. These were women who had built incredibly successful careers by outsourcing almost everything at home, with a full support system behind them, and then showing up at work in a very traditionally strong, almost masculine way.

That model worked, and I respect it. But it was also often presented as the only path. What excites me now is that you don’t have to become that version of yourself to lead. I don’t see myself ever being that type of leader. I’m a relaxed person. I smile. That was actually feedback I received early on, that I smiled too much and that it made me look more junior.

Having more archetypes visible matters because it gives women permission to lead in different ways. When you see different styles represented at the top, it becomes easier to imagine your own path there.

Who are the women who influenced your journey most?

There are so many. Lynn Akashi at Zetland Capital offered me more than I asked for and told me not to accept a pay cut or step-down when changing jobs. From Tiffany Cooper at Mandarin Oriental, I learned to stay true to myself and my values when facing difficulty. More recently, Elona Mortimer-Zhika, a CEO I have long admired, taught me to find my non-negotiables and be fully present at work and at home.

I’ve been extremely fortunate to meet many “sheroes” along the way, and I try very intentionally to pass their wisdom forward.

Aethos London in Shoreditch

What convinced you this was the right moment to join Aethos as CEO?

I’m driven by Aethos’ mission to bring purposeful and soulful hospitality to more people. In recent years, I’ve had health challenges that led me toward mindfulness and a deeper understanding of mind-body connectivity. Relationships, not just romantic ones but relationships in general, are such a big part of wellbeing.

All of my experiences as an advisor, an owner, and an operator brought me to a point where I could see myself serving this mission and creating a greater impact. This move felt very purpose-driven for me.

How are you approaching your first year as CEO?

I’m very much in listening mode. In order to achieve a company’s mission, you need to create a system that allows customers, employees, and owners to thrive.

That’s how I’m thinking about Aethos, as a system, not just a brand.

Was it always your dream to be a CEO? How do you think about ambition now?

I’d be lying if I said the idea never crossed my mind. But that wasn’t the driving factor for me making this move now.

What mattered more was staying true to my values and choosing roles where I felt I could learn, grow, and have an impact. I don’t think ambition always has to be loud or linear. Sometimes it’s about being open to the right opportunity at the right moment and trusting that the path you’ve built has prepared you for it.

Aethos Ericeira on the coast of Portugal

You’ve mentioned modern loneliness as something you think a lot about. How does that shape your view of hospitality?

I genuinely believe modern loneliness is one of the biggest drivers behind experiential travel and wellbeing today. People want to feel something real again. They want connection.

Through the Aethos members’ club, we bring people together through programming, dinners, talks, and cultural experiences. At the same time, we try to bring guests out into the local community by connecting them with the culture and nature of each place.

For me, hospitality isn’t just about the physical space. It’s about relationships and creating moments where people feel connected, even if only briefly.

How do you scale a brand like Aethos without losing its soul?

Scale should not compromise soul. Our growth strategy is rooted in our people and in the belief that potential and attitude matter more than pedigree.

In a world increasingly shaped by AI, we challenge the status quo in how we build teams and how we choose projects. We look for curiosity, intellectual capacity, and ambition, and for locations rich in culture and community. That discipline is what allows us to scale while staying true to who we are.

Speaking of culture, what are you most intentional about building at Aethos?

I don’t care for face time, and I don’t believe in fear-based authority. Instead, I promote what I call a caring meritocracy, with feedback loops, accountability, and support networks, but not complacency.

We’ve just appointed a Group Director of People and Culture, and my goal is for Aethos to grow into a school of life. For many frontline employees, this may be their first professional experience, and we have a responsibility to them and their families.

What’s one outdated assumption about luxury you’d like the industry to let go of?

I think a lot about where our current definition even comes from. Much of it is still rooted in the work of economist Thorstein Veblen. In that framework, luxury goods derive value from being expensive and visible, not necessarily from being better. Demand rises precisely because price signals status.

Even though that thinking comes from the 1800s, it still shapes much of luxury hospitality today! The traditional definition of luxury is still very product-driven, centred around the physical product. How big the room is. How large the bathtub is. How rare the marble feels.

For me, the real luxury in life is time. Helping people feel present and alive, creating memories and positive feelings about their lives, that’s how I define luxury.

What advice would you give women hoping to move into leadership roles?

Work hard, stay curious, and always be kind. I’ve been helped by many people throughout my career, and those relationships have shaped every step forward.

Surround yourself with people who believe in you and make you a better individual, not just a better worker. In my experience, opportunities tend to appear when you’re doing your best work and lifting others up along the way.

Quickfire with Lily

Morning routine?  What do you do for self-care? I’m not a morning person so my morning routine is a skinny cappuccino on the way to work. I received a red-light therapy mask for my birthday this year, so if I have an extra 10 minutes, I also do one session of red-light therapy with a round of breathwork on my Oura ring.

Leadership mantra you live by: Leaders eat last.

A quality you instantly notice in someone who’s going to thrive: Intellectual integrity – when someone disagrees with me citing data and analyses, I see that person as honest and high potential.

A book, podcast, or thinker currently inspiring you: I read “Be Useful: Seven Tools for Life” by Arnold Schwarzenegger earlier this year and it’s been the most uplifting and positive read I’ve had all year!