Male Ally of the Month: Agnelo Fernandes on Owning Your Space, Lifting Others, and Leading Without Ego

Meet our Mr. June: Agnelo Fernandes, CEO of Cote Hospitality and a powerhouse of purpose-driven leadership.  Agnelo’s path to the top wasn’t traditional. Born in Kuwait, educated in Oklahoma, and shaped by a career that’s taken him from Miami to LA to Minneapolis, he brings a rare mix of global perspective and grounded wisdom to everything he does. After starting in finance and quickly realizing he preferred people to spreadsheets, he pivoted into hospitality, where he has spent more than two decades leading with intention, empathy, and edge.

Agnelo made his mark at Sonesta and Canyon Ranch before leading the high-stakes launch of Terranea. When the coastal resort prepared to open in 2009, in the midst of the financial crisis, the Los Angeles Times ran a cartoon with a tombstone reading “RIP Terranea,” predicting its failure. Under Agnelo’s leadership, it defied the odds and became one of Southern California’s most celebrated hospitality landmarks.

Now at the helm of Cote Hospitality, Agnelo is building brands that span hotels, resorts, camps, and outdoor hospitality experiences. His leadership style is rooted in trust, culture, and people-first values. He serves on the board of HSMAI, has mentored countless rising leaders, and was recently appointed to the AHLA Resort Committee to help address key industry challenges and shape the future of hospitality on Capitol Hill.

What sets Agnelo apart is his unwavering belief in inclusion and allyship. From his first boss, a woman who saw his potential before others did, to the daughters who challenge him daily to lead better, Agnelo credits women for shaping who he is. He brings real talk on speaking up, owning your value, and why leadership always begins with listening.

Where are you from, and what drew you to hospitality?

I’m of Indian heritage, born in Kuwait, educated in Oklahoma, married in India. I’ve lived in Los Angeles, and now I’m in Minneapolis. I like to say I’ve always had a suitcase ready to go wherever destiny leads. I am grateful that my wife Arti is my biggest supporter, always encouraging me to bet on myself.

I started in finance, but the corporate world lacked the energy I craved. My big “aha” moment came when I organized a conference and met some hospitality folks. Their passion was contagious. I realized I didn’t just want to experience joy, I wanted to create it for others and that gave me a sense of fulfillment. At the time, having an MBA was seen as overqualified in some corners of hospitality, especially for entry-level roles. So I took it off my resume. I just wanted a foot in the door. Once I did that, opportunities opened up, and I jumped into the industry headfirst.

You’ve worn many hats – from sales to strategy to brand building. What’s been the common thread through your career?

Connection. I’ve always been curious and all about people. I wanted to meet them, learn from them, share stories, serve them, whether I was on the line in the kitchen or leading a boardroom strategy session. Early on, when I was working the front desk, I started collecting guest business cards and encouraged them to call me directly to book. I even asked for my own reservation code — which was definitely not standard, but I knew I could deliver. That scrappy mindset taught me to create opportunities rather than wait for them.

Leadership, to me, is service with a servant leader’s heart. It’s about how you make people feel.

Who are some women who have influenced you?

My mother didn’t have a formal education, but she ran our home and family business with strength, grace, and grit. She taught me resilience, curiosity, and compassion.

Professionally, I’ve learned from so many women, from GMs to colleagues. Dorothy Dowling is someone I deeply admire. I met her through HSMAI, and she has been a steady example of calm, clarity, and generosity in leadership. She also taught me that great leadership doesn’t have to be loud. Dorothy leads with a calm, grounded energy I call “phantom leadership.” You walk away feeling better, even if you didn’t realize how much you needed it.

Lisa Bodell, a futurist and mentor, helped me learn to cut through chaos and focus on what matters. Her book Kill the Company explores how to eliminate the rules that stifle innovation, which is a philosophy I have carried into every brand I’ve built.

I’ve also been inspired by leaders like Caroline Beteta, CEO of Visit California, Terri Haack, Managing Director of Wild Dunes Resort, and Renie Cavallari, CEO of Aspire. Their influence has helped shape my leadership mindset in meaningful ways.

I also want to shout out a few guys who model values-based leadership. Stuart Greif of Forbes Travel Guide and Ryan Berman of Courageous both lead with calm confidence and clarity, which I deeply respect.

And of course, the most important women in my life: my wife, my mother-in-law, and my daughters, who continue to challenge me to be better every day.

Let’s talk advice. What would you say to women who struggle to speak up, ask for promotions, or find mentors?

Don’t wait for permission to speak. Life rarely presents itself with a bow on top. Practice using your voice in low-stakes moments so you’re ready when it counts.

Play offense. Ask for what you want with clarity and confidence.

When it comes to mentors, build your personal board of directors. Some will challenge you, others will cheer you on. Be bold and reach out. Tell someone you admire them – it softens even the hardest edges. This is great entry point.

What’s your superpower as a leader?

Adaptability. And being intentional about how I show up every day. I start my mornings with gratitude. That energy is contagious. If I walk into a room with low energy, I want mine to be the one that lifts the room.

You’re a proud #GirlDad. What’s your best advice for your daughters – and the next generation of women leaders?

Own your space. Don’t shrink to make others comfortable. Be bold. Be kind. The world needs real, not perfect.

Support other women. Cheer each other on. And bring the guys along too. Inclusion works best when it’s not exclusive.

L to R: Arti, Agnelo and their daughters Nicole, and Celeste at Nicole's wedding

You’ve been active in HSMAI and were just appointed to the AHLA Resort Committee. Why is industry involvement so important?

Four out of my last five roles came through my industry network. I got involved with HSMAI early in my career, back in 1993, through the South Florida chapter. At the time, I was still finding my footing. A mentor encouraged me to attend a networking event, and honestly, I wasn’t sure I belonged, but it turned out to be one of the best decisions of my career. I met people who were generous with their knowledge, willing to share playbooks, and open to lifting others up.  Those connections helped me stay ahead of trends, especially in sales, marketing, and branding. And the opportunity to give back, whether through mentoring, speaking, or even just taking a call–– has been a real privilege.

Being active in organizations like HSMAI or the AHLA Resort Committee isn’t just good for your career. It’s how we grow the whole industry.

Any go-to books, podcasts, or resources you recommend?

I’m an article junkie. I’ve got thousands saved. But for books, I love Kill the Company by Lisa Bodell and Return to Courage by Ryan Berman. Podcast-wise, Think Fast, Talk Smart, Leadership Growth, anything from Jefferson Fisher, and I love Hospitality Daily. I like content in bite sizes, it  gives me something I can actually use.

Let’s close on a personal note. You still play in a band — what role does music play in your life?

I still go back to LA regularly to play with my band. Music reminds me to stay light, stay curious, and always leave space for joy. It’s one of those rare things that feeds your soul and clears your mind... like a creative reset.

And finally, what do you want your leadership legacy to be?

That I made people feel seen. That I led with heart. That I built teams where everyone felt safe to shine and go beyond their expecations. And that I helped more women – including my daughters – thrive and lead in a world that needs them more than ever.