Leading Without Apology: Women Rewriting the Rules of Hospitality Leadership

At the Icons of Inclusion event at The Dorchester in London, I had the pleasure of moderating a powerful panel of women who are reshaping what leadership looks like in luxury hospitality. Each of these trailblazers has recently stepped into roles previously held by men. They’re not just following in footsteps; they’re blazing their own paths with intention, confidence, and impact.

Our panel featured Charlotte Weatherall, General Manager, Corinthia London; Jessica Tapfar, Hotel Manager, The Chancery Rosewood; and Eljesa Saciri, General Manager, The Mandrake. The conversation was rich with personal stories, honest reflections, and a clear message: the future of hospitality leadership is already evolving, and women are driving the change.

Representation Is Shifting—But We’re Not There Yet

Opening the discussion, I shared some stats to set the stage. Women make 85% of travel decisions, and 65% of travelers are women. According to Virtuoso, 71% of their clients are women, and the most valuable luxury traveler today is a 65-year-old woman traveling solo. Yet, women hold just 30% of executive roles in hospitality—and only 7% of CEO positions.

The gap is real. But panels like this one show progress.

Spoken (and Unspoken) Rules of Leadership

Before you can rewrite the rules, you have to ask—were they ever written down? Or are they just whispered, enforced through sideways glances and double standards? Our panelists had a lot to say about the invisible “rules” women encounter as they rise. Whether boundaries, biases, or full-blown roadblocks, they’re still very much in play.

Charlotte's honesty set the tone. Though she’d long aspired to a GM role, she admitted part of her drive was to push through invisible barriers still baked into the industry. “I watched other women try to progress, and they were either single or didn’t have families,” she shared. “It was always painted to me that to be a true hotelier, you had to breathe it 24/7... there was no room for anything else.” But Charlotte, mother of three young daughters, wasn’t buying that narrative. “My wife didn’t pause her career in finance for me to sit still in mine.”

Echoing the delicacy of that balancing act, Jessica noted that as a new mom and hotel manager overseeing the demanding opening of The Chancery Rosewood, she knows how critical flexibility and support are. “There’s no point in me sitting in this chair if I’m not paying it forward,” she said, describing how her team is actively building inclusive practices—not just for parents, but for all caregivers. “We’re looking at work-life balance for people caring for elderly parents, for those who just need to be seen as whole humans, not just employees.”

Eljesa Saciri’s path couldn’t have been more different, but the barriers, spoken and unspoken, were just as real. Born in Kosovo, she came to London as a refugee at age nine, learned English, and worked her way through the ranks to become the first female GM of The Mandrake. She’s done it all with a sense of purpose, and plenty of humor.

“I’ve been in rooms where I was expected to take the notes,” she said. “Now I just ask, ‘So… who’s taking the notes?’ Because I’ve worked too hard to shrink.”

And she doesn’t.

I’ve got the confidence of a middle-aged white man. I highly recommend it –– Eljesa Saciri

“I’ve got the confidence of a middle-aged white man. I highly recommend it,” she quipped. “I want to be in those rooms just as much as anyone else. And I’ve reached the point where, if I’m not invited to the table, I’m fine with that. I’ll build my own.”

That’s exactly what she’s done...carving out space, creating her own support circles, and championing others who feel like outsiders. “There’s probably a picture of me with a red X in a bunch of hotel HR offices. ‘Do Not Hire.’ And honestly? I’m fine with that.”

What They’ve Had to Unlearn

Jessica spoke candidly about learning to stop apologizing for being direct. “Early on, I was called bossy. I constantly softened my language. But I noticed that my male colleagues didn’t have to.” Now, she leads with confidence, and helps others do the same. When her team sends emails that start with “Just checking…” or “Sorry to bother…” she sends them back with a gentle note: You don’t need to apologize.

You don’t need to apologize.–– Jessica Tapfar

“And I expect them to do the same for me. We’re unlearning this together.”

Charlotte admitted she’s still a work in progress. After recently appointing a lesbian woman as hotel manager, she found herself second-guessing: “Would people think it’s too much? Would our owner care?” The overthinking kicked in—until she reminded herself: “The best person got the job. That’s the only thing that matters.”

And she’s right. When a male managing director and male hotel manager worked together, no one asked questions. Why should it be any different now?

For Eljesa, unlearning meant shedding the pressure to be palatable. “I used to walk into rooms wondering how to fit in,” she said. “Now I ask how I can stand out.” She’s no longer interested in code-switching, note-taking, or performing acceptability.

“I’ve learned that being fully myself isn’t a risk—it’s a requirement,” she said. “If that makes some people uncomfortable, they’re probably not my people.”

“I Want Your Job in 10 Years”—What They’d Say

Toward the end of the panel, I asked what they would say to a young woman who asked, “How do I get your job in ten years?” The responses were as empowering as they were practical.

Eljesa didn’t hesitate: “I actually said that to my MD during my interview. And now here I am. If someone tells me they want my job in ten years, I say, let’s make it happen in five.”

Collaboration is key, Jessica agreed. “Let’s get you there. And let me help you find more people to learn from along the way. Representation matters. Seeing different paths to the top helped me—and now I try to be that person for others.”

Don’t be afraid to f*** it up. My biggest failures gave me my best lessons. –– Charlotte Weatherall

A believer in the power of mistakes, Charlotte shared, “Don’t be afraid to f*** it up. My biggest failures gave me my best lessons. That’s what moved me forward.” She also stressed the importance of building relationships and finding champions. “When you find a champion who really supports you, stick with them. You never know when that one connection will unlock your next move.”

What This Means for the Hotel Industry

The conversation made one thing clear: rewriting the rules of leadership isn’t about fitting in. It’s about showing up fully, challenging outdated norms, and lifting others along the way. From pushing past unspoken expectations to making space for care, identity, and unapologetic ambition, these women are reshaping hospitality from the inside out...and we're here for it!!