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“As we head into the holidays…amid all the joy, it can also be stressful and sad,” began a post on Linkedin from hertelier’s own Emily Goldfischer, who was crowdsourcing advice on how to get through a funk.
“You know, when everything feels hard, and your inner voice is full of negativity. What are your top tips?” Em asked.” It does not need to be holiday related. Just general - how do you personally get out of a low mood or negative mindset?” The response was overwhelming… clearly, she struck a nerve!
When Em asked me to write a column about it, I jumped at the opportunity to Unpack It, which is one of the ways I get myself out of a funk…by focusing on something other than the funkadelic voices in my head that tend to send me straight down a rabbit hole, if I let them.
“Focus on the things you in fact are able to change or impact versus the ones that are out of your hands,” says hospitality mentor and leader, Frauke Auon. For podcaster and Hospitality Leadership Coach, Andy Jones, “it’s reconnecting with your purpose and turning back to your goals, however before that, a process of reflection and understanding is pretty important. “Sometimes we're whirling around and so wrapped up in DOING, we rarely take that time to recognise and just BE,” adds coach Robyn Filep.
Besides watching reruns of Miriam Margolyes on the Graham Norton show and laughing my ass off, one of the other ways I have learned to recalibrate my mindset, is to imagine that I am literally on a train of thought and that I know where it’s headed. So, I remind myself that I do have a choice whether to go all the way to Funkytown or pull the cord (it’s an old school train) and get off. I used to be afraid to disembark in the middle of nowhere, but soon realized that, although the territory was unfamiliar, it was a new environment and one worth exploring.
Our imaginations are incredibly powerful tools! Hospitality Leadership Specialist, Michelle Moreno, understands, and shares that award-winning actress and screenwriter “Emma Thompson calls the inner voice "Shit FM" and I purposefully visualise turning down the volume on this.” Great one! I often find myself listening to Shit FM, by default, and now I know what to do about it! Michelle’s personal motto, “And Imagine If It All Went Right” is something I have, sadly, never considered…but I will now!!! Turns out best-selling author and motivational speaker Mel Robbins, has a similar motto.
“Funks come in all shapes and sizes,” says Founder & CEO, Emily Penfold Daily CHDM, “Some are mad, sad, unmotivated. Ugh… It can take different things to get out of each. Basically, I try to balance the energy. If I’m fiery mad I try to do soothing and cooling things. Sad means more nourishment and pleasurable activities. Unmotivated needs more movement and excitement. Regular therapy puts more tools in your box to handle them.”
Founder and CEO of the Jane Hotel Group, Leah Murphy, suggests in “Giving yourself a chance to just sit in the funk and feel it. Sometimes I feel like we spend so much time fighting bad feelings, that if we just gave ourselves the grace to be in a "funk" for a day or however long necessary - that it allows us to bounce back that much faster.” Tedx Speaker & Transformational Coach, Andrea Morrison, tells us to” Surround yourself by safe people who won’t feed your negative thoughts but simply hold the space and allow you to share what’s in your head without judgment and knowing they don’t need to react to it.”
From Brenda Collin, Executive Vice President Europe Preferred Travel Group, “ My mother's words are always positive and since I was a toddler, she would constantly say, ’You've got this. You can do it, keep going’. I find myself repeating these words to my kids, my friends and my work family. Talk yourself positive!” Roomza’s Curtis Crimmins adds, “It’s a little cliche but I remind myself that, in fact, my track record for surviving hard times is 100%. So why would this time be any different?”
“As the holiday season approaches, it’s time to sit, think and note down all the beautiful moments of the year, how far we've come, who supported and cheered for us, all that we actually can feel grateful for. I promise there are so many of those simple happy glimpses.” Thank you for that, Simona Listvanaite!
Before I sign off, I encourage you to read all of the incredibly helpful thoughts and tips that our readers took the time to share, and that I was unable to include (I really wanted to), so here’s the link to Em’s post again.
And now I leave you with a joke, whose punchline has become my own personal motto when I find myself in a funk:
Parents of identical twins are perplexed by how alike they are in so many ways, and yet one is overly pessimistic while the other is yes, you guessed it, is totally optimistic. So, they take the twins to a psychologist, who gives each one a shovel and puts them in separate plexiglass booths full of horse manure to observe their individual behaviors.
The pessimist throws down the shovel and starts screaming, “Why don’t you like me?! Why would you put me in a room full of stinky poop? Why am I being punished?” Yet when they observe the optimist, that twin is excitedly digging his way through the mountain of poop and joyfully flinging it in the air.
Psychologist: “WHY SO HAPPY?”
Optimist: “WITH ALL THIS SHIT THERE’S GOTTA BE A PONY HERE SOMEWHERE”
WISHING YOU A HAPPY AND FUNK-FREE THANKSGIVING!