• Nancy Mendelson

How to Get Out of Your Own Way

It was about 10 years ago that a consultant for the company where I worked at the time remarked, “If you’d only get out of your own way, you’d be unstoppable!” I remember wondering what the actual “f” she meant by that, as I waited for the next idiom to drop, certain it would be “you’re your own worst enemy.” They seem to go hand in hand.

How to Get Out of Your Own Way

“Because why? Please give me an example,” I asked. “Well, if you’d just be yourself, you’d be fine,” she responded, as though she was a paragon of mental health. “What, that’s all you’ve got???” I said to myself as she walked away.


“I’ve heard the statement “just be yourself” so much. It sounds like an amazing thing to do, and I have wished many times that I could just do that,” writes Victoria Ayers for Tiny Buddha. “What I’ve wondered, though, is what in the world does that mean?” Yes, Victoria, me too…and you’re a certified Life Coach, so I don’t feel so bad!


In her article, What It Really Means to “Just Be Yourself” and 3 Ways to Do It, she goes on to say. “Our true self is who we really are when we let go of all of the stories, labels, and judgments that we have placed upon ourselves. It is who we naturally are without the masks and pretentiousness,” and does offer 3 ways to get there:


1) Get in touch with your inner child.

2) Become more aware of your thoughts.

3) Follow your intuition.


There is some good advice in the details, so check it out, if this is resonating.

“So often in life, our greatest obstacle is ourselves,” writes author Brianna West for Forbes in 48 Ways To Get Out Of Your Own Way And Start Making Real, Lasting Change In Your Life. It's not that we can't force ourselves to grit our teeth and push through another four hours of work. It's not that we don't know what we should be doing, or how we could better apply ourselves. Self-sabotage happens in small, almost undetectable moments. Our minds breed resistance through repetition.”


“For years, as a Hollywood screenwriter, I struggled to “get out of my own way,” without really understanding what that meant,” writes Dennis Palumbo for Psychology Today. "The phrase always had a kind of down-home, common-sense, don’t-make-such-a-big-deal-out-of-it quality that I was often frustrated with myself for my difficulty in achieving it.”

Nancy Mendelson

“You can get from where you are to where you want to go. You can create whatever your heart desires,” shares coach Nina Amir and offers up 8 strategies to help you get out of your own way.


There are a lot more tips and strategies I unearthed in doing this column but felt these were the most digestible. And speaking of digestible, it’s time for me to get out of your way and go make dinner. 'Til next time!