Redefining What Counts As “Time Well Spent”

Somewhere along the way, “time well spent” got hijacked. It became synonymous with productivity, efficiency, and getting things done. If you can quantify it, monetize it, or check it off a list, congratulations … you’ve spent your time well.

But what about all the hours we need simply to “process” life? To let experiences sink in, to feel them, to make sense of them. Those hours are invisible on a spreadsheet. They don’t come with trophies, hashtags, or bonus points. Processing is not Instagrammable or Linkedinable.

And yet… isn’t that the work of living?

Often the hard way, I’ve learned that unprocessed experiences don’t go quietly. They pile up like unopened mail, demanding attention at the least convenient times. Grief leaks into board meetings. Joy gets diluted because we never fully tasted it. And that “aha” moment you brushed past because you were too busy? It doesn’t stay parked forever. It just… dissolves.

When my husband Tom passed away, the world kept moving at breakneck speed; bills, work, obligations, the endless swirl of “next.” But my heart wanted to slam on the brakes. I needed time. Not for productivity, but for absorption. For breathing. For “being”. And if I’m honest, I still need it. Grief, love, joy… none of it runs on a timetable.

Still, the culture around us insists otherwise. We celebrate “quick rebounds,” “power moves,” “overnight successes.” We hand out medals for bouncing back, not for taking the time to actually feel.

So, I’ve been thinking it’s time to redefine what “time well spent” means, and allow ourselves credit for the hours of sitting still, for the walks taken without headphones, for the conversations that wander without purpose. Let’s acknowledge that quiet time is not wasted...and that digestion of life, like food, is essential and healthy!

If you need an excuse, call it “strategic downtime” …everything sounds better with the word “strategic,” right? Or better yet, don’t apologize at all.

Because the truth is, processing is not a luxury. It’s how we turn experience into wisdom, how we let life move through us instead of just past us. And if that isn’t time well spent, I don’t know what is.

In my book, not everything of value has a dollar sign!